


On Pain of Sheep

by seatbeltdrivein



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Community: fma_fic_contest, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-15
Updated: 2011-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-14 18:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seatbeltdrivein/pseuds/seatbeltdrivein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Post-manga] Growing up in Resembool gave Ed an unforeseen advantage over the emperor. "This isn't extortion," Ed explained. "This is /opportunity/."</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Pain of Sheep

There wasn't even time to blink. Everything happened so quickly that one moment they were walking into Resembool, and the next a herd of sheep was mulling about where the emperor of Xing stood not a second before. One of Ling's hands stuck straight up from somewhere beneath the herd, waving wildly, the only visible bit of him.

"That's different," Al observed. Next to him, Ed kicked the ground and let out a stifled laugh. "Should we do something?"

Ed grinned. "Nah, I think I like the view from here."

"Edward," the emperor spoke from below the sheep, his voice nearly inaudible, "help?"

"So how's about that money you owe me? You know, now that you're a rich guy."

"You _do_ realize extortion is illegal, right?" Al asked, taking in the sight with a mix of exasperation and amusement.

"This isn't extortion," Ed explained. "This is _opportunity_. That bastard owes me one thousand lunches, and I'm damn well getting paid back."

"This is extortion," Al persisted, shaking his head. "Extortion by _sheep_ , of all things!"

"He kind of deserves it."

"But I have diplomatic immunity," Ling whined, the words muffled. Another hand joined the first, leaving the two appendages to flail helplessly over the top of the herd.

"One thousand lunches," Ed repeated, voice loud over the chorus of bleating sheep. "Pay up or stay on the ground."

With one final flail, Ling's hands curled into fists and disappeared from view. "One thousand lunches," he relented. "Now remove the sheep!"

"With pleasure." Ed whistled, a low, loud sound, and Den came running from between two buildings with a loud bark, prosthetic leg clattering against the cobblestone walkway that wound through the center of town. The sheep let out a collective sound of disdain before shuffling away, moving in an odd sort of unison that left the large mass of white fluff looking more like a single entity than a herd of sheep.

Ling, still on the ground, looked more than a little rough around the edges. "You're a terrible person," he said, staring up with narrowed, accusing eyes.

Ed snickered. "I didn't do anything. The sheep just had it out for you."

"Like they did Fuhrer Bradley," Al added dryly.

Taking pity on the emperor, Ed held out a hand, pulling Ling to his feet. Ling gave him a dirty look before patting down his robes, trying in vain to brush off the dirt and random bits of white sticking to the fine fabric. "I would not have thought alchemy affected animals in such a way," he said petulantly. "You never told me."

"Alchemy?" Al scoffed. "That wasn't alchemy. This is Resembool, Ling. _Everyone_ in Resembool knows how to handle sheep. Now if you're both done, can we go? We've been traveling for days, and I'm starving!"

When Al turned away, Ed leaned close to Ling and muttered, "That's how we single out the outsiders."

Ling scowled. "I am banning sheep from Xing," he promised. "Forever."


End file.
